A Philosopher Drama By Joseph Irungu
SCENE FIVE
(OPEN PLACE)
(A MAN IS BEATING HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN; A CROWD CHEERS HIM ON)
CROWD:
Whip the sense into her swallow mind. Woman and a slave are the same bodies but the souls of horses. Beat her that the whip may plant into her souls’ seeds of wisdom and respect for men.
(ENTER SOCRATES)
VOICE IN THE CROWD:
Here comes Socrates. Let him referee a battle of wits between man and wife. Between father and son.
SOCRATES:
Good day dear citizens. Why is our good master so angry with his wife, isn’t man and wife one soul in two bodies?
THE MAN:
No, Socrates! A woman has the soul of a horse, but man is divine with a god-like soul.
SOCRATES:
Good master, is it true that like marries like? That a god cannot marry a human being? And a human being cannot marry a donkey?
THE MAN:
That’s true wise Socrates!
SOCRATES:
Is it true that nobility marries nobility? Ignobility marries ignobility? That if what is loved is base, the lover is base? If what is loved is an angel, the lover is an angel? If what is loved is a devil, the lover is a devil?
THE MAN:
That’s correct!
THE WOMAN:
If what is loved is a horse, the lover is a horse. If what is married is a donkey, is it not then married to a donkey? If the bride is a dog, the bridegroom is a dog.
SOCRATES:
If the wife has an animal soul, the husband also has an animal soul.
THE MAN:
No, no, no! Women are horses! Men are gods!
SOCRATES:
Do you have a mother?
THE MAN:
Yes, I have.
SOCRATES:
And a daughter?
THE MAN:
I have a daughter.
SOCRATES:
Therefore that must mean a horse gave birth to you. And that horse is your mother.
MAN'S WIFE:
And you have sired a horse.
THE MAN:
You rude idiot, stop abusing me!
MAN'S WIFE:
I am unable to abuse you.
SOCRATES:
Dear friend, let her explain.
THE MAN:
Okay. Let us hear what she has to say.
MAN'S WIFE:
A horse has no human tongue. It is incapable of human speech.
THE MAN:
So what?
WOMAN:
To abuse is to use human speech with intent to injure.
THE MAN:
So?
MAN'S WIFE:
A horse is incapable of human speech and therefore abusive language.
THE MAN:
Stop. You foolish idiot!
CROWD:
T'is the man who has the horses and the intelligence. Woman has but a philosophic soul.
SOCRATES:
Dear friend, is it just, intelligent and noble for a man to assault his helper and friend, his woman?
THE MAN:
It is not only just and noble, it is an obligation.
SOCRATES:
Why?
THE MAN:
Because man is superior.
SOCRATES:
In what way?
THE MAN:
Man is stronger than woman.
SOCRATES:
An elephant is stronger than man, is it then superior to man?
MAN'S WIFE:
A rhino is stronger than a prophet, a philosopher, or an astronomer. Is it therefore superior?
THE MAN:
Shut up! Man has a beard!
SOCRATES:
Goats also have beards.
THE MAN:
Man has no breast.
SOCRATES:
Bulls have no breast.
THE MAN:
I don’t care. Man is superior.
SOCRATES:
Is a man who is a highway thug or a child rapist superior to a kind woman who is also an astronomer, doctor or simple honest hard-working mother?
THE MAN:
Man is ruthless and tough; woman is weak and tender.
SOCRATES:
Cobras, tigers, leopards and vipers are more ruthless, are they therefore superior?
THE MAN:
Man is still superior.
SOCRATES:
Supposing man is superior, what is the wisdom of beating women and children?
THE MAN:
To increase wisdom.
SOCRATES:
Are you a prophet, astronomer or musician?
THE MAN:
No, I am not.
SOCRATES:
Supposing you were given a through beating, can it make you a prophet, musician or astronomer?
THE MAN:
Foolish question! It can’t.
SOCRATES:
Can a beating make you a poet, orator, or doctor?
THE MAN:
I want my son to be a great man in Athens, but he is rude and lazy.
SOCRATES:
So you beat him to make him excel?
THE MAN:
Yes and I am justified.
SOCRATES:
Can beating a cow make it lay eggs?
THE MAN:
Silly question!
MAN'S WIFE:
Can beating a hen make it give milk?
THE MAN:
Shut your mouth, you fool!
SOCRATES:
Can beating an orange turn it into an apple?
THE MAN:
Foolish question! It can’t.
SOCRATES:
Can beating you make you a great poet or astronomer?
THE MAN:
Of course not!
SOCRATES:
Beating your children cannot make them more than they are, but it will definitely make them less. If whipping makes greatness, donkeys would be poets, prophets and philosophers. If you would prove your superiority to woman, prove it by nobility, wisdom, knowledge, good manners, kindness and the justice of your actions. For if muscle make greatness, rhinos would be kings and elephants would be gods.
THE MAN:
You mislead the people! I dare not listen to you. (leaves)
CROWD:
Stupid man, you should be the wife of your wife and she should be the husband.
(END)